Sleeplessness

That feeling you get when you look at the clock and realize that you put your daughter to bed FIVE HOURS AGO and neither of you has slept so you cave like the weakling that you are and give her a dose of benedryl and you not-so-secretly-and-longingly wish you could throw back a shot, too, and surrender to sweet, dreamless, drug-induced sleep... Is that one called "pathetic?" 'Cause that's how I feel.

Back to the future

My dad walked in the bathroom today to find Daniel standing on the toilet. He was trying to reach the toilet paper (which I had earlier perched on the towel rack to keep Lia from flushing the entire roll... One square to each flush... Thus wasting a full roll of TP and tripling my water bill). I (not-so) secretly want to leave the roll on the towel rack in hopes that he'll slip, bonk his head, and invent time travel.

Please Google "flux capacitor" before calling CPS and understand this is just a joke.