Friday, July 12, 2013

Theology, kindergarten style

Church last Sunday was unique in many ways. Our church was celebrating Splash into Summer, so we had bbq, water slides, a "unified service" (which basically means they combine the hip folks from the contemporary service with the traditional folks from the. . . traditional service), and a baptism. Daniel had never seen a baptism before, but didn't really say much about it at the time. Later in the week, it caught up with him.

We were eating dinner at home and he piped up, "Why at church do they sometimes baptize babies?" My eyes lit up, but my mouth was full so I had to grunt a bit to make sure he knew I was engaged but busy. "Oh," he said. "Is this a daddy question?" So many times he'll ask me how a car makes carbon monoxide or why birds have liquid poop or how fast the earth is spinning or how many gallons of water are in the earth's oceans. I either have to say "That's a daddy question," or I have to consult my phone and the endless wealth of knowledge that is the internet. I shook my head spastically and gestured for Doug to back off. This is firmly in mama territory. Finally having swallowed my food, I got a little indignant. "No way, bucko. This is a mama question!"

Enter my explanation for baptism. I didn't pare it down too much. I got to the point and summed it up something like this - when you decide that you love God and Jesus, and you know that God and Jesus love you, and you know that Jesus died for your sins and you want to show to whole wide world that you want to follow Jesus all the days of your life and you want Him to be with you always, you get baptized. Without missing a beat, Daniel says, "But a baby *can't* know all that." Badabing. 

When Doug and I first joined the Presbyterian Church, this was a sticking point. I was baptized by immersion after a public profession of faith. Doug was baptized by immersion after a public profession of faith. My parents were. My grandparents were. It's a "thing" for me. I absolutely believe in baby dedications and I understand the logistics of why we sprinkle babies. I understand why we do confirmation and classes leading up to this ceremony. I also believe that if a child recognizes the basic tenets of his faith at the age of 5, he should not have to wait until he's 14 to be confirmed with a group of his peers. I believe in being moved by the spirit. When I was five, Brother Ray did the same thing he did every Sunday at the end of a service. The choir hummed "Softly and tenderly, Jesus is calling - calling for you and for me..." while Ray stood at the front of the church and prayed. And by God. I got up and walked to the front of that church. My mama didn't know I was going. My daddy didn't know I was going. Heck. I didn't even know I was going. But softly and tenderly, I heard my Savior call and away I went. My spirituality is something I feel. Not something I follow. To hear my child sum up the way I feel about baptism in seven short words at the tender age of five. . . wow. Move my heart.

I went on to explain why we sprinkle babies and why Doug and I feel strongly about baptism being Daniel's (and Lia's) idea. After I finished, Daniel looked down at his plate for a minute then met my eyes. "I'm ready now. I want to get baptized right now." Be still my heart. As with most huge decisions like this, I felt it was best we talk about it at length before taking any further action.Just as Brother Ray came and talked with me about why I wanted to be baptized before we actually did it, I want to makes sure he understands what this means.  We've brought it up a few more times and I really do think he gets it. Fortunately for us, our head pastor talked with Doug and I about our feelings about baptism before we joined. He assured us that if Daniel came to him and said he wanted to be baptized by immersion, he would be happy to perform the ceremony. After that discussion, we were all in.

I still haven't quite figured out exactly how to handle this step in his/our faith walk. I'm not sure whether it's time to approach a pastor or if we should continue to explore our faith together at home before we move forward. I recently read this book and it has absolutely changed my life. Jen Hatmaker has made me examine parts of my faith I didn't know existed. She's made me question decisions I never knew I made. She's moved me. She's changed me. She's opened my eyes. I'm in the midst of a personal spiritual awakening. I want to be His hands and feet. I want to serve. I want to move and shake. Knowing my child is impassioned by the same things I am stirs a fire in my heart. It makes me want to do more; to do better. I want him to come with me on this journey, and I want it to be his idea. Softly and tenderly, I'll hold his hand and pray I'm guiding him down the right path.