Pollyanna

Do you ever have days where you feel like you just can't do anything right? You get out of bed, expecting a normal day and WHAM! You get smacked in the face, full on, with a day full of bleck. Today was one of those days. I won't dwell on the details, just the way the day made me feel.

All day long, I tried to have a positive attitude. Despite the hour of hysterical screaming that Daniel put up while resisting his nap, I never cried. I prayed, I thought I might cry, and I held my head in my hands a lot. But I just keeping thinking to myself - this isn't THAT bad. I could be at work and Daniel could be in the hands of a much less caring person while in this frenzied state. He could be screaming for a ton of other reasons, none of which I really care to think about. I decided to thank God for the opportunity to be at home with Daniel. I thanked Him for Daniel's health (and for the fact that this has never happened before). I asked Him to wash over me with serenity, to ease Daniel's discomfort (or hysteria, as the case may be). He answered some prayers, ignored others, and said "You're welcome" for a few in between. I'll take what I can get.

At 3:00, I realized that a nap wasn't happening and I should just make the best of it. I did. We went to the park. We played with a truck. I even let Daniel read the notice we got from FEMA. I'm not sure what it said - and now I'll probably never know - because Daniel crumpled it beyond recognition. At 3:00, I also decided that wine was in order; as soon as little man was down for bed, of course. But alas. Daniel is in bed, my stomach is in knots (from fighting the urge to join in the hysteria and do a little screaming myself, I'm afraid), and wine doesn't even sound like a solution anymore.

Perhaps after a long, scalding shower, things will seem a little less hazy. I'm already feeling better as I purge the day through my fingertips and listen to the whir-whir-whir of the dishwasher. Perhaps tomorrow will be better. Perhaps it won't. At least I know that whatever tomorrow brings, I can be thankful for many, many things, even if I could do without the hysteria.