How do you love somebody?

I went to church Sunday morning. Alone. For the first time ever (I think). Well, not completely alone. I took Daniel to the nursery, kissed him goodbye, and went to church. It was nice. Really nice. Not to be in church alone, but to be able to drop off my little one and go listen to a sermon my heart really needed to hear.

We've been going to a Presbyterian church. I'm not Presbyterian and neither is Doug. To be honest, I can't even spell Presbyterian half of the time. I'm not sure if a Prayer of Confession is a routine item for these guys, but this Sunday's service featured a Prayer of Confession. Having grown up in the Baptist church, actual "confession" is not something I'm accustomed to. Sure - I ask for forgiveness for particular sins. But I've never been required (or asked) to confess to anyone at any specific time. It didn't make me uncomfortable; it just made me stop and think about my shortcomings (which isn't hard for me to do).

After fumbling around for a bit, I prayed for God to show me how to be a better wife. I confessed that I don't always do and say the things that Doug needs to hear and see. I admitted that sometimes, I don't know exactly how I should be Doug's wife. I even considered that maybe I don't even know what makes Doug feel loved. I asked God to teach me how to better love my husband. Then I teared up a little bit, took a deep breath, and continued listening.

Lo and behold, the sermon was about love. Go figure. We even sang a bit of The Beatles' "All You Need Is Love." The last thing the preacher asked us to do was to 1.) spend the week praying about loving one person in particular and 2.) consider joining a small group. The 2.) part seems disconnected, but she did a really good job of tying it in - be a part of your community and love thy neighbor. Got it.

How often does this really happen? How often do you sit in a pew (or a stadium seat, on a couch, or whatever) and ask God to show you something and then KAPOW! The next words out of the speaker's mouth pertain directly to your plea? Whoa. Wild.

I've challenged myself this week (and hopefully for the rest of my life) to focus on loving Doug the way he wants and needs to be loved. I know how I show love and how I feel love, but Doug's idea is just a smidge different from mine. So the next time I think that washing, drying, folding, and putting away Doug's laundry will make him feel loved, I pray that God will remind me that I'm doing that for myself. What Doug really needs is to be told how much he is loved rather than to be shown.