A quick vent

It seems that EVERYONE I know is somehow making time in their lives to leave their children behind and take a much-needed and long overdue vacation. Not us. I'm not asking for Vegas, Napa, Honolulu, or even just the Melting Pot. All I want is 2 or 3 hours alone with my husband to reconnect and breathe and I can't seem to manage that.

I feel like I'm chasing my tail. I feel like no matter how good Daniel is or what a great nap he takes, I'm still just flat out of gas at the end of the day. Regardless of how many times he peepees in the potty or says please and thank you, regardless of how helpful Doug is when he gets home from work, regardless of how helpful my dad is when we're with family - I need a break. Not a big break. Just a little teeny break to take a deep breath and remember what I'm doing. Just a few moments to sit down and not worry about how many more loads of laundry there are to do, how many more tiles need to come off the wall, how many more rooms there are to mop. How much is left to do. I just want a day (or even just half a day) where I don't have to do anything. I could sit on the couch and read. I could tell Doug about my latest idea without having to pause every 30 seconds to ask Daniel to repeat what he just asked for. I could go to the bathroom without help and without having to relinquish my spot on the potty for somebody who needs it more desperately than I do.

So that's all. I know there are no solutions. I know that break isn't coming. I know the best I can do right now is a 3-hour break to go clean someone else's house. But that doesn't make me want it any less. Doesn't make it any easier to pick myself up and keep going. This is one loooong tunnel and I sure don't see any light.