As I stood at the stove making our homemade pizza this evening, I had a moment of clarity (or something like it). I was imagining what my 20-year-old (or heck, even 25-year-old) self would have said had you told her that by 31, she'd be a blissfully happy full-time mom who delights in making homemade hummus, managing her household on a less-than-shoestring budget, and making a lifestyle out of raising her family. Then-Sheri would have likely - make that *definitely* - thought you were nuts. Then-Sheri would have also thought that such an existence was a waste. A waste of education, of talent, and of time. Then-Sheri, clearly, was an idiot.
Now-Sheri has (obviously) had an awakening. I now recognize the value of kids raised well, especially since I've been exposed to kids who haven't been. I have always appreciated manners, but until I was the one fully responsible for teaching a child everything - EVERYTHING - did I truly appreciate others who have nice manners. I'm no more forgiving of those who don't have nice manners, I just appreciate those who do have manners even more.
When I say EVERYTHING, I really, truly mean ev-er-y-thing. When making the decision to leave my high-paying, goal-oriented, deadline-driven career, I had NO idea the extent of the breadth and depth (to steal an old industry term) of this lifestyle. It had never occurred to me that had I returned to work, someone else may teach my child how to say his own name. I never considered the implications of having many (too many) completely different rule-enforcers (and the confusion this would cause) for a very young, very spirited child. I just knew in my heart that God had intended for me to raise this child and that couldn't possibly entail working 50 hours and giving my best to somebody else.
I knew then that I would love being with Daniel. I knew that I was making the right choice. I prayed about it, I cried about it, I lied to myself about it (trying to convince myself that I was cut out to be a working mom). I knew that I was in for a challenge. But having never been a mom before, how could I possibly be prepared for what lay ahead? What I didn't know was how completely and fully satisfying this role would be. What I hadn't considered was that this could be my calling. I had so fully immersed myself in my career that it never even so much as entered my mind that I could possibly be cut out for something other than what I was doing. Thank God for subtle messages.
