Bittersweet

When I was pregnant with Daniel, I used to joke that Doug would be so engrossed in his video game that he wouldn't even realize that I had gone into labor until he heard the baby cry. It was mostly a joke, but I've always despised video games. Well, maybe not always, but at least since I ended a relationship over Everquest in college and the idiot I was dating didn't even realize it was over for several days because he was too caught up in his make-believe world. Doug told me then that when Daniel arrived, that would be the end of his "gaming" days. Not.

We haven't really fought-fought about his "habit" in a while, but Sunday. . . we sure did. I won't go into the details (there are some things I prefer to keep at least semi-private), but there were raised voices, a few tears, and definitely some hurt feelings (on my part). Suffice it to say that I often feel that the video game somehow takes precedence over me (or at least my feelings). We said we were sorry - him for choosing an inappropriate time to play the game; me for losing my temper. The discussion was over. I thought it was a closed book. Until Doug returned from the other room to snap the disc in half and throw it away.

. . .

I had no idea what to say or do. He wasn't angry. He was just finished, I guess. Finished hearing me reference "that stupid game" in nearly every argument we've ever had. He pitched it in the trash and went about his business. What to do? Laugh? Cry? Say "thank you?" I was at a total loss. I guess waiting for it to happen for 2+ years just made it that much more. . . awkward, I guess. I haven't said a word. He hasn't said a word. Things have been a LOT better since, so I guess, perhaps, it should go left unsaid (whatever "it" is).

Isn't it funny? You want something for ages - regardless of how insignificant it is - and when you finally get it, you don't know what to do with it. I guess that's why we're taught not to covet. When you finally do get the forbidden fruit, it just doesn't seem all that sweet after all.