Is it time?

Yesterday was Daniel's 18-month milestone. Wow. A year and a half. I didn't spend the day looking back, but instead, looking forward. Doug and I have decided that we'll start trying to make our family of three a family of four as soon as Daniel's second birthday rolls around.

I was sitting on the couch watching the fire and enjoying a cup of hot chocolate. I was thinking about all of the must-dos we had on our list before Daniel was planned/conceived/born. We had to buy a house and make at least one more big trip before conceiving. We had to take a babymoon and walk on the beach in Costa Rica and dream of names for our little peanut. We had to find a crib. We had to take a class. We had to get the nursery ready. We had to have one more big date night before Daniel was born. We had to make some really serious decisions about our life-style and my career options.

The must-do list now? It doesn't exist. I said to Doug, "Wow. We're going to start trying for baby #2 in 6 months. We better hurry up and . . . " I trailed off. Nothing. Hurry up and nothing. Life is exactly as it should be. We're happy. We're healthy. We're whole. Are we ready now? As much as my heart says yes, my head says no. My head says to listen to what it's saying. Let Doug finish school. Let us really be a family of three, seven nights a week, before we have to learn to be a family of four. Let us live. Let us learn. Let us enjoy. Maybe there's nothing tangible on that must-do list, but the next six months shouldn't be one long ellipses. The next six months should be life. To the fullest. With my family.